Chris Crocker
Tags: come back, britney spears, documentary, hbo, YouTube, sun dance, Chris Crocker, Me The Zoo, It Gets Better
Chris Crocker was a Britney Spears fan before he made his famous "Leave Britney Alone" video. He grew up following her career and putting her posters on his bedroom wall. He was making YouTube videos in the early days of the video service, but when Spears took heat for a visibly unhealthy “comeback” performance at MTV’s Video Music Awards, Crocker leapt to her defense in a tearful display that made him a celebrity.
Most would think the “Leave Britney Alone” phenomenon would have been the end of it. Everyone gets their 15 minutes. Indeed Crocker is still known largely as the “Leave Britney Alone” Guy nearly five years later, though he’s continued to produce original videos and makes a healthy living from YouTube.
Certainly few would think he’d be the subject of a documentary. Me @ The Zoo is a film about Crocker’s life and career, and it premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in January. The film illuminates Crocker’s difficult life in the south, avoiding violent homophobia and channeling it into an on screen persona. The film explains the YouTube phenomenon and follows the many changes that have developed since the site took off. It also shows Crocker’s less successful endeavors, including a reality TV show that never aired.
Crocker attended Sundance sporting his new look, which the film shows him adopting. Shedding his long blonde hair, Crocker is now a clean cut brunette, though his voice is still distinct, even when he’s not crying and screaming. Crocker met up with me in the festival’s Bing lounge on Main Street in between film screenings and events for the It Gets Better campaign, which also had a presence at the film festival.
SG:
Was your YouTube performance a meta performance on celebrity itself? Did people get that level of it?
CC:
Were you talking specifically about “Leave Britney Alone?” For me, I didn’t realize until the filming of the documentary, which sounds really contrived, but because I’m so used to just making videos autopilot mode and not thinking about why I’m doing it, but during the filming of the documentary, I realized a lot of my sympathy for Britney, even though I loved her as a pop star growing up, I was sympathetic to women in general because of what’s happened in my family which they go into in the film and stuff. So for me, having my mom be addicted to drugs and having my whole family turn on her and stuff like that really enhanced my sympathy for just women going through a hard time, which like I said didn’t even dawn on me until we were filming because it was intense, the questions they ask you during the interviews and stuff.
SG:
I feel like I know a lot of haters in my business. I can see they’re never happy people no matter how much they hate. Can they realize that and can we help them get to a more loving place?
CC:
I think that if people have it set in their mind to dislike a person or dislike a thing, whether it be sexuality, if people are set and they’re blocked off from accepting others and themselves, I don't know. People have to be open to others. You have to want to be open and want to be a happy person. I don't know. I just know that the story’s there for anyone that’s willing to take a closer look and not just as far as me, but with haters or hateful people that bully people. They have to want to take a closer look to see that people are people and we’re all equal.
SG:
Even being selfish, if you want to feel better, there are better ways than bullying.
CC:
Right. Well, I’m from the south so my experience with haters is very specific because hate is taught to people there from the time they’re born. My family told me when I was three or four, if you see a gay person run. So it’s very taught to them. I know that especially from where I live, hate is taught to children so it’s kind of hard to unteach those things for lack of a better word. I don't know. So all you can do is really either not react to the hatred and show them you’re a good person and be patient, or you can just be like, “Fuck you.”
SG:
I try to take the Gandhi approach of you have to even love your oppressors. And he had people trying to kill him.
CC:
Right, well, I’ve had death threats and people trying to find out where my family lives and things like that. That’s when you can’t just be flippant about it and be like, “I have to love my enemies.”
SG:
Of course, not to be flippant, but to be spiritual about it.
CC:
At a certain point you have to take a stance against your haters when it becomes life threatening. As far as everyday people not liking you, that’s different.
SG:
Is that where It Gets Better comes in?
CC:
The It Gets Better campaign, I don't know. For me, the biggest takeaway with the film just really highlights there’s such an epidemic of gay kids that turn to the internet for outreach and trying to find other gay kids and acceptance, but on the flip side of that, there is just as much if not more hatred from bullies online. So it’s like an equal mix for kids that are lost and needing to find community. They find it but at the same time there’s still that same bullying they encounter in real life.
SG:
I like the It Gets Better campaign. Somehow I knew it would be fine once I was out of high school, and I was only dealing with being the movie buff that people thought was weird. Does the campaign need to go to the level of not only will you be better after high school, but the bullies will not make anything of themselves? This is it for them.
CC:
Right. I mean, I think that’s what I’m saying. I was bullied from the time I was in Kindergarten on and I think there’s a lot of kids that inceptually have strength. If I didn’t know how to block those people out, we all would be one of those kids who are suicidal. So some people are just naturally weaker than others. That’s why they need things like It Gets Better to see there’s a whole world of gay people out there. So I think it’s great.
SG:
That’s a good point, because in one sense you don’t want to coddle kids. They have to develop some survival skills. How do you determine who needs the outreach?
CC:
Right. I think that when you’re bullied and stuff you can either take it and literally just recycle the hatred, which is all I’ve ever done is recycle the hatred and use it to my advantage. Or you can let it defeat you. Being hated on really can be a gift and you can minus the curse if you just use it to your advantage. Just use it creatively and take that strife and put it into music or video, whatever it is that inspires you.
SG:
Some viewers might ask: why a documentary on you?
CC:
Oh, I was just saying the same thing. I’m the first person. I’m very aware of people’s perceptions of me which I think you have to be with anything you do. But I think as I was just saying that in an interview with Chris Kattan. I want people to realize for me it’s way less about me and way more about the core topics this hits on. When we started out doing the documentary, I knew it wasn’t just going to be like, “Oh, so this is why I started a video.” When you watch it, it’s really a film for this generation. It’s relatable, even if you don’t go through the same things I do. You’re going to know a kid who’s been through what I have. And even though I’m a radical example because I’m a little extreme, I think when people see the backstory as to why I started making videos, being bullied in the south, and people see things that go on with my mom, it’s a story for everybody. Especially me being the first wave, the reason they wanted to do the documentary is to show I was one of the first wave of people to become famous from the internet and then get a reality show deal and start filming for that and that fall through and then where do you go from there and what do you do now now that you have this name for it. I get a monthly check. I can’t just snap my fingers and not be Chris Crocker. So not to be up on myself, but I think it’s a very important story for this generation. I do.
SG:
When did you change your look?
CC:
My look’s always changing.
SG:
But this drastically.
CC:
Well, see, that’s the weird part. I had wanted to cut my hair last year and it was while we were filming for the documentary. I’m like, “You guys better get the camera crew here because I’m cutting it.” So I had to wait four months even after I wanted to just so they could get it. So that’s in there and they even show me dying my hair. There’s a scene of me even buzzing off my hair. It’s not ever a conscious thing. I just feel a change coming on and I want the outside to match the inside.
HBO bought broadcast rights to Me @ The Zoo at Sundance and will air it later this year.
HBO bought broadcast rights to Me @ The Zoo at Sundance and will air it later this year.
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